Women Brown
The Friendships of Women
If I know anything about women, I know that we need relationships with other women. Women understand other women. We know how to have more fun and fulfilling experiences in just one weekend than most men will experience in a lifetime. No wonder men have difficulty understanding us!
There are many different types of friends that come and go in our lifetime. All are precious and needful for that season in our life. See which type(s) you relate to …
The ‘Laugh til you hurt friends’ – This is one of my favorite types of friends. I have a group of friends that when we get together we are guaranteed a hilarious time. It’s the type of thing that cannot be explained to another friend or your husband because it just isn’t funny to anyone else. You know what I’m talking about don’t you?
I have several different groups of friends. Here’s what one of my groups look like: Leigh Anne is a Pastor’s wife. She’s beautiful, thin and runs tri-athalons. Linda is an attorney’s wife, also beautiful, thin and runs marathons. Tammy is a workout afficianado, nutritionist and a beautiful tri-athlete married to an Air Traffic Controller. Lisa is a businesswoman, sassy, beautiful, thin and works out just for fun, married to a small-business owner. And then there’s me. How in the world did I get into this group? Still carrying around my baby weight from 16 years ago, never will run a marathon, tri-athalon or any kind of ‘thon’ let alone work out “for fun.”
When we get together it is stuff that comedians live for. You know how comedians take a completely useless topic and make hysterical material out of it? That’s what happens when we get together.
I am the early bird of the group. Come ten o’clock in the evening, I am ready to collapse (probably due to my lack of “athalon” participation). I typically am the first one to end the fun, always with one eye on the clock. The girls get great joy out of trying to get me to stay out past eleven, or (gasp!) past midnight.
One particular night we were at Tammy’s house sitting outside by her fireplace. We were having a hilarious time. At some point, I noticed I was feeling particularly sleepy so I glanced at the clock, but it was only ten-o’clock. One of the girls noticed me looking at the clock and quickly chided me. As the minutes wore on I was getting more and more sleepy. I’d sneak a quick glance at the clock, but it really wasn’t all that late … until it was revealed that they had moved the clock back two hours! It was almost 1:00 in the morning.
Got to love your laugh ‘til you hurt friends … they were laughing … I was hurting! I cherish the memories and the countless laughs shared with my girlfriends.
SIDENOTE: On April 1, 2009 our group of five became four. Leigh Anne lost her heroic battle with colon cancer and went home to be with the Lord. While we still have plenty of things to laugh about with each other, our loss and void is deep. Aside from being on the of the most hilarious people I’ve ever known, Leigh Anne was one of the most brave, godly women I’ve ever known. As her cancer battle worsened she made the statement, “I’m in awe of the fact that God has chosen me to make His name more famous.” And that she did!
Let your Hair Down Friends – These are the friends that you can tell anything to and let your hair down around them without feeling judged or worrying that she will break your confidence, or share what shouldn’t be shared with others.
Typically these types of friends are the most sparse. You can count this type of friend on one hand, sometimes with just one or two fingers. Treasure these friendships and be sure it is reciprocal. Never compromise a confidence!
Needy Friends – These are friends that can quickly wear you out, but I believe God puts in each of our lives from time to time. This type of friend, if we’re not careful can quickly confuse her boundaries. This can be a successful ministry opportunity. The goal of the relationship should be to minister to her as best you can through mentoring techniques and prayer.
As time goes on, she should become less needy and grow in her walk with the Lord. If this does not happen, however, it may be necessary to put some gradual distance between you so she does not become too dependent on you. You want her ultimate dependence to be on her Heavenly Father, not on you.
Pray it through friends – These are vital friendships in a woman’s life. There is nothing more pure and loving than a friend that is willing to hear your heart and pray with you and for you until your miracle arrives. Everyone should have at least one person in their life that they can call on at any time to go to the Throne of Heaven on your behalf.
If you do not have one of these types of friends ask God to send you one. Ask Him to put you on someone’s heart, or put someone on your heart that you can ask to be your prayer partner. Prayer moves God! Miracles happen when women pray!
Lifetime friends - Usually lifetime friends exhibit all the crucial friendship elements: laugh til you drop, let your hair down and pray it through friend. These are the friends that no matter how long you’re separated, you easily reconnect.
I have a couple of lifetime friends. Laurie is one of them. Although we are separated by about a thousand miles, she will always remain one of my dearest friends in the world. Laurie use to live four doors down from me. She is the only friend I’ve ever had that we both felt free to drop in unannounced for coffee, or with just a moments notice, even if still in our bathrobes, would have the other over to sit on the porch and drink coffee. Several nights a week we even shared dinners together. I’d call her up and say, “I have pork chops, what do you have?” She’d look in her pantry and say, “I can make “sweet potato casserole and dessert.” Within an hour one of us would be trudging down the street with our family and hot dinner pots in hand. Though we are now separated by miles, we are always there for each other through the many ups and downs of our lives.
Mentoring friends – This is the type of friendship that brings with it great responsibility and honor. The Bible says in Titus 2:3-5 that the older women should teach the younger women to be good wives and mothers, keepers of their home. When Paul wrote that the “older women” should teach the “younger” women he wasn’t necessarily talking about physical age, but spiritual age. In other words, let the more spiritually mature women teach the less spiritually mature women.
Relationships have eternal value. I believe that pure, godly friendships are essential to our Spiritual growth. The Bible says in Proverbs 27:17: Iron sharpeneth iron; so a [wo]man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend. If you lack in this area of your life, ask your Heavenly Father to meet this need. He will gladly send just the right person into your life at just the right time. Of that I am sure!
About the Author
Shelly is a speaker and teacher locally and abroad. Shelly uses humor and poignant details as she shares some of her life experiences along with sound biblical truth while revealing the hope and healing that only God can give. Her deepest desire is to be used by God to impact the lives of women by not just having their heart’s stirred, but changed, so that they may in turn have an eternal impact on others. You can contact her at shelly@shellybrown.com or visit her website at www.shellybrown.com
Grateful Dead – Brown Eyed Women – 72/05/25
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